Expectations, why do people have expectations? Why can't we have a "let's wait and see" attitude. I'm not sure why other's have expectations, but I can explore why I have expectations--control. I want control, over what you say? My life, I want control over my life. You see, I'm a planner and as I have examined my whole life I have always been a planner.
I remember as a young girl day dreaming in the bathtub and imaging how I would like my life to be. I saw what I wanted and I thought if I thought about it hard enough and I wish for it with all my heart then it would eventually come. Sadly, I was wrong. None of my day dreams ever came true and I ended up as one thing, disappointed. So, what do I yet still have expectations? Why can't I just let go and let thing be as they are?
The thing about control is that it is completely one sided. You can have control over only one person and that one person is you. All the other people in the world, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much they love you or you love them, you can't control them. You see that person also has a picture in their head of how their life should be and the likelihood of it matching up with yours is very slim.
In life it's okay to have goals, but the fun thing about goals is you usually have no idea how you're going to achieve them, or you might have ideas and you might try them and you might fail miserably. In that case your plan doesn't work out, but that doesn't mean that you still can't reach your goal. So what I'm saying is expectations are not good, because they insinuate that they are the end-all be-all. That they are the only way. I expect this to happen and you believe it will whole-heartedly, so you fail to make a back-up plan. So then when it doesn't happen the way you want it you are crushed, devastated, stocked and hurt. How could the world fail to live up to MY expectations, how could this person not agree with my plan? Where in my execution did I have a flaw? There had to be a flaw some where, because there isn't any flaws in me and everything in my life should be perfect, right? Wrong!
I know this is super cliche, but as they say, nothing worth having comes easy and oh, how that feels like an understatement sometimes. It amazing how one disappoint can change your whole view, your whole mood, effect you whole life for those short few days where you're going through the emotions. First, you're happy to be executing your plan, then it's over, then you wait, then you're confused, then your discouraged, then self-conscience, then your bitter, then angry, then sad, then depressed, then bothered, then annoyed, then calm, then hopeful, then determined, then triumphant. Then you let it all go and you move on to the next journey and next attempt at accomplishing your goal.
It is really amazing how one thing can just cause this flood of emotions. I guess that really goes to show that this thing that you are persuing is really important to you and that when it doesn't come to be that it will be a very joyful, amazing experience. I think the fact that it causes such emotions means that it is a very passionate and meaningful subject to you and that's you will go above and beyond and dig deep and far, and high and low, to find it and to make it something that will last.
Emotions can seem like a bad things, especially negative ones... But really I think it's the negative ones that make you work so hard for the positive ones and they really do make the positive ones so much more worth the wild. I used to be afraid of my negative emotions, but now I can see that they aren't always that bad and sometimes being strong enough to let them out is even stronger than holding them in. You let yourself be vunerable and to show that you are not perfect and you're not always this face you put on... To show that you too have your demons makes you human. It's makes you relatable. No ones perfect, everyone has their flaws and if you show them, them maybe other people can help you.
So the point here is... It's okay to have goals, but don't be set on one exact outcome. Secondly, emotions show about how much you think about something and it's okay to show weakness because sometimes people might really appreciate that side of you and that might make you more inviting somehow. So stay positive, have more than one plan for things and and never settle for less than what you want. It may take some trial and error to figure out exactly what you want, but it's a journey we all must go on. So for all now, good night and don't let emotions get to your dreams, because dreams and meant for creating the good. Night!
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