Tis' the season to be jolly?

I've been blogging and wanting to write throughout December and yet somehow I have escaped writing a holiday blog. So here it is!

I admit I have been a Scrooge this Christmas and I'm sorry for that. I have attempted with all that is in me not to be a bah-hum-bug, but by some uncontrollable force I haven't been able to help it.

So here it is--me analyzing my poor, bitter unhappy mood. Christmas, when I was younger was exciting magical. When you are younger and you believe in Santa there such an anticipation that builds waiting inside you. You are so anxious tossing and turning wondering when Santa is going to come, but you know that he will not come unless you fall asleep so you must put your excitement aside to force yourself to sleep.

Then you awake early in the morning to find your stocking stuffed. It's filled with candy and socks and make-up and little toys, whatever is age appropriate of course.

Then the task of dragging your parents out of bed, so you can see what amazing special once-a-year special things that the good holiday brings. This is the one time of the year when you get really really big things. The one time of year your parents splurged on you.

But now I'm old... No Santa to look forward to. No stocking. I'm at my own place...all alone. My parents give me nice things, but I don't feel I deserve them anymore. At this age I should be married starting my own family. I should have a child that I am Santa for.

I should be arguing with my mate over whose house we will go over this year.

I shouldn't be alone on Christmas Eve drinking screw drivers and watching "The Holiday" alone. But here I am and this is it... This is my life. It's not what I thought it would be, but it is what it is.

I have had magical moments before, so they have to be able to happen again. I just don't know when. My time will come though. One time... I'll have my happily ever after Christmas and I'll be where I think I should be. :)