Where I am...

So it's been 5 years since I graduated college. I landed a job in public relations at a non-profit residential drug and alcohol rehab six months after graduation in a part-time position. I was still serving at a restaurant, so between the two jobs I was able to manage financially...until I got fired from my serving job. We won't go into the details of that, not that I'm ashamed or guilty of anything; it's just an entirely different story and subject than what I want to focus on in this blog. So in the meantime I manage to do some tutoring for kids, some serving at another place and even event bartending to make it by. A year and half ago I did actually become a "full-time employee" by that I mean I work 32 hours with full benefits, vacation and sick, which is awesome and I'm totally grateful for. But the problem is I BARELY make it by living on my own and wages I make. I work paycheck to paycheck. They only way I've gotten small boost of help are through law suit settlements, tax refunds and of course help from my wonderful parents. So you ask why don't you just go get a better job? My answer to that is I have TRIED. I absolutely have tried to find a better job. In fact since I've worked at my current job I must have gone on at least 8 professional interviews. Beyond that I've probably submitted 100 resumes to various organizations throughout the Valley and no one has hired me. I know I have a lot of skills and talent and passion.

So after getting yet another rejection letter today I sobbed to my friend Emily and I just expressed that I didn't know what was wrong with me? There has to be a reason why my life is stuck in this sort of limboland of the job world. There must be something I'm supposed to learn or someone I'm supposed to meet while I'm there. I know I can be a little negative at times, but I do also truly believe that I deserve to thrive in this world and deserve to have a career where I feel secure and that I can feel comfortable supporting a family one day.

Maybe I'm supposed to write my own story. Maybe I'm supposed to write a book and become a famous writer or maybe I'm supposed to write a cookbook. Either way I'm stuck here for a reason and I know I just need to act on something and take control of my life and pave my own future. So for now I don't have anything clever or witty to say. All I can say is that I'm going to work on accepting where I am while paving the way for my future.